How to build stronger relationships with yourself and others

How do you build stronger relationships? Well I’d like to share something for me that has either weakened or strengthened my relationships with myself and others and that is….. Integrity.

What do I mean by integrity? For me this is about being honest and committing to what you say you will do in terms of priorities, whether that is to yourself or others.

I’ve been there many times in the past whereby I didn’t do what I said I would for myself and it made my relationship worse with me.  I’ve also in the past admittedly (although not frequently) canceled on someone with no good reason. This weakened relationships. This isn’t about pleasing people, as you can say no to something you don’t want to do or can’t commit to in the first place.

The thing is though I never noticed that not having integrity with myself damaged the relationship with myself, but think about it? If you had a ‘friend’ who said they’d show up for a meal. They didn’t show up once. Then didn’t show up again. How many times would you stop letting them not show up before the relationship was lost or seriously on edge? It probably wouldn’t take too much depending on where you are.

However when we don’t follow up with integrity to ourselves this can damage us. No matter how small the task, when I keep putting something off I said I would do it to myself. I question my integrity. 

It’s ok to step back and be honest and say ‘look realistically this just can’t be a priority now and I’ll reschedule next month’, this comes down to honesty.

So how can we improve our integrity?

  1. Write down your top one – three things for the day and make sure you complete at least one. Make it easy to do but important to you.
  2. Create a powerful identity statement for yourself that you want to be consistent with. Say it out loud and follow it up with action.
  3. Learn to say no to someone if you think something is unrealistic, rather than later. This brings up honesty and integrity now. 

Conclusion

Today I’ve shared one key thing I’ve learnt to create a strong relationship with yourself and others integrity. Showing up, being honest and following through on small commitments really will make or break those relationships. Remember to always show up for yourself like you would for someone else. 

By Jonny Pardoe

Podcast Host, Confidence & Podcast Coach and Author

© The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Ltd February 2022

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