A lot of people I’ve coached and worked with have been challenged with this at the start. I have too and have to catch myself out for it. Getting frustrated at what I can’t control.
Maybe you can relate? We’re all human after all. Well in today’s blog I’m going to share a couple of tips on how to approach this.
Visually draw it out to see
When things get put on paper it takes a lot of the stress away right?
Well divide your list into three categories and look at how you are processing the situations you have a challenging time dealing with.
What you can control e.g your response, actions and behaviour
What you can influence e.g turning up prepared for an interview or sharing a message you’ve prepared
What you can’t control e.g the outcome and other people’s actions
Then you’ve got something to look at and remind yourself of it on a regular process.
Ask yourself ‘what is this teaching me’?
In life we can see things as ‘happening to me’ or ‘happening for me’. Now although there are a number of really bad scenarios in life there are some extremely inspirational examples from humanity of people going through hell and coming out strong and inspiring others.
For example just look at people like Tony Robbins or Oprah Winfrey and look up their back stories.
It’s not to say you shouldn’t feel frustrated, angry, griefing or negative emotions. We need to process them but to stay in a state of victim mentality all the time… well would it do anyone any good?
Instead there comes a time to ask ‘what is this teaching me?’ and ‘how can I use it to inspire or help others?’
Conclusion
Getting frustrated, down or angry about certain situations or others in life is normal and processing it is needed. However when we become too much in victim mode or focused on what we can’t control then life becomes a challenge. Choose your way today.
By Jonny Pardoe
Podcast Host, Confidence & Podcast Coach and Author
© The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Ltd February 2022
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