I didn’t know how to start this blog or what to name the title. So I decided to do what I know best…. Just start. Something that’s brought me success in my podcasting, writing previous books and making social media content. The topic really being my update on my mental health journey as a man. I felt a deep calling and an inspired sense to write again, having increased deeper connection to myself and something greater (man I never thought I’d write those words as a left brained planning, project management, sales and achiever led man).
I celebrate my ability in 2024 to sit with all my emotions, no matter how uncomfortable, how painful or stressful. Don’t get me wrong there are times where I do slightly distract myself (usually with my phone lol). The flip side of this is that I can also feel and experience the beautiful emotions of gratitude and joy.
Really being able to hold structure and a solid figure for myself allows me to do so for others. Many times in my life I would abandon myself as it was too painful. Earlier today for example I felt exhausted and elements of sadness crept in, the past me would have done something like gone and ate something, watched something to distract myself, gone out and drank (depending on what night) or something else. Instead I lay down on my head and held myself, I went into the terrors that are embedded deep in my subconscious, cried and reassured that I was going nowhere I am here for me and I love me.
The result…. Strong trust and self love. Gratitude for myself for holding the space for me. I accept and feel what I need to feel. I don’t use phrases like ‘I shouldn’t feel like this’ in a discussion I had with my somatic coach recently. Those words, I felt, would keep me away from a ‘victim – life happens to me mentality’ which of course is not a place I want to stay, but not acknowledging my feelings is complete abandonment of myself.
I’m blessed to have so many teachers, coaches, mentors and tools in my life to allow me to focus on what I want, default to empowering emotions more often than not. Yet the true beauty has been my ability to connect with myself and hold that space for me.
I want to be clear, this is not a you must only depend on you and go alone in this world. NO! I also need family, friends, coaches, mentors and people. Yet that number one relationship is with me and particularly the young inner child part of me that’s been scared many times.
One key take away I’ve picked up this year is that if I don’t allow myself to feel all of my emotions, how can I experience beautiful ones?
Jonny Pardoe,
© The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Ltd 2024
