Is the prospect of being alone as a man scaring you as a man with the holidays coming up?
When I say alone I mean with no romantic partner.
Certainly in the past been challenged with this and the old me would have been seeking validation. I’ve now though come to a place whereby I enjoy my own company, I look forward to spending the holidays with family and friends. And even though I won’t be seeing the New Year in with my girlfriend like last year I have come to a place with deep diving work where I could be out with friends (not drinking) or just sitting in my own home with an early night enjoying my own company.
I decided to write this blog today to share what’s helped me get to this point. I know like me many men go through heartbreak, setbacks and struggles. I admittedly am still on a journey and still things to work through, one key thing I’ve learned though is that I am never alone when I love my own company.
Now when I say being ok with being alone I do not mean I am closed off to meeting the right girl in future, but equally getting to the point where I would be ok if I never do in this lifetime and appreciate what I’ve had. Yet I know not just for men but all genders being alone is a daunting thought.
Here are 4 things that have really made a difference in my life:
- Inner child work
A quote I once heard was ‘when the boy is healed the man appears’ I have certainly had the little boy running the show and he will show up. Yet my daily commitments to telling the little boy inside of me have healed my relationship with myself and feel so much better in my own company - Finding social groups that make me feel good
I am blessed to have joined many communities and groups over the years and have many amazing friends in person and online. One of the loneliest experiences I’ve had is when I would hang out with groups who did not allow me to feel great and we would only connect through drinking. Find people you feel good around that is an energy that will rub off on you. And yes you do have to make the effort to socialise. - Do at least one thing you love
Therefore is nothing worse than exhausting yourself with things that drain you all the time when you feel lonely. Me ramping up my content, practising my sales skills and learning to find the fun in my career (even though I get overwhelmed by lots of information) has allowed me to connect with myself more. It also goes back to the little boy having fun. - Learn to be happy for others
This is definitely a practice. If you see happy couples together, practise being happy for them. If it’s possible for them it’s possible for you. Celebrating other people in general actually allows me to see such good in the world and get more excited about my own life. Yes jealously and resentment can be very strong to overcome, so it’s a muscle to practice.
At the end of this I’ll ask this, are you really alone when you love your own company and trust life?
Remember to lead with your heart and not with fear.
