When Money Isn’t Just Money… It’s Your Self-Worth in Disguise
If you’ve ever sat there feeling embarrassed or ashamed about your bank balance, or confused about why money feels so heavy, so stressful, so… personal you’re not alone.
Most men I’ve spoken to have had some internal battle around money:
- fear of not having enough
- fear of losing what he does have
- fear of being judged for what he earns
- fear of looking weak
- fear of not doing “well enough”
And let’s be honest here: you live in a world where you’re expected to “provide,” “handle it,” and “just get on with it,” but no one has ever sat you down and taught you the emotional side of money.
So when I recently went through a Money Masterclass with Jim Fortin, a lot hit me hard. Not because the ideas were new, but because I realised I’d already lived them. I’d already seen them play out in my life, especially during the years I was struggling, in debt, trying to figure myself out as a man.
What you’re about to read isn’t theory.
It’s lived experience.
It’s truth.
It’s exactly what I wish someone had said to me years ago.
Lesson One: Your Money Beliefs Aren’t Yours You Inherited Them
The Beliefs Passed Down Through Your Bloodline
Here’s something confronting:
your beliefs about money didn’t come from you.
They came from:
- your parents
- their parents
- their trauma
- their circumstances
- their fears
Especially men.
Men were raised for generations in the shadow of scarcity. Many of our grandparents lived through the Great Depression. That energy didn’t just vanish it was handed down like family china.
Maybe you were taught:
- “Money is hard.”
- “You must work yourself to the bone to survive.”
- “Rich people are greedy.”
- “Money is dangerous.”
- “You should feel guilty when you have more than others.”
Or maybe you absorbed the emotional atmosphere — the stress, the arguments, the survival mode energy.
And if no one ever told you this before, let me be the one:
If your money beliefs are inherited, you can also choose new ones.
But you can’t change anything until you get brutally honest about what you currently believe.
Sit with it.
Ask yourself the uncomfortable questions.
Because this one shift alone can change your entire financial identity.
Lesson Two: You Live by Rules You Didn’t Realise You’d Written
The Invisible Money Rulebook Running Your Life
You weren’t given a money rulebook in school.
But you did absorb one subconsciously.
Ask yourself:
- What are the rules you believe about making money?
- Do you believe you must struggle for it?
- Do you believe you must sacrifice your happiness for it?
- Do you secretly think you’re not worthy of having more?
- Do you think giving means losing?
- Do you think wealth is selfish?
Because here’s the reality:
Two people can work the same hours.
One becomes wealthy.
One barely survives.
It’s not the hours.
It’s the rules.
Change the rules. Change the results.
Lesson Three: Money Comes From the Inside Out — Not the Other Way Around
How You Feel Creates How You Spend, Earn, Save & Attract
I used to believe I had to grind myself into exhaustion to earn more.
Classic masculine conditioning, right?
But the truth is the opposite:
When you feel good first, money becomes easier. When you feel scarce, money runs from you.
Let me give you an example.
A while back I planned to give a homeless man a tenner.
Cash machine only gave me twenties.
So I gave him twenty.
Old me would’ve panicked.
New me knew: generosity expands you.
Fear shrinks you.
And what happened?
Opportunities increased.
Unexpected money showed up.
Better deals found me.
Not because of magic.
Because of alignment.
If you want more money, start by feeling:
- grateful
- grounded
- safe
- abundant
- worthy
Not someday.
Now.
And if you’re sceptical?
Track it.
Write down every unexpected £10, £100 or opportunity that comes your way when you’re in a good emotional state.
You’ll shock yourself.
Some men do this unconsciously and wonder why life keeps improving.
Others stay stuck in anger, frustration and fear — and wonder why nothing changes.
Be the first man.
Lesson Four: Your Energy Dictates Your Income
What You Feed Your Mind & Body Shows Up in Your Bank Account
Energy isn’t just physical.
It’s emotional.
Mental.
Spiritual.
Behavioural.
Everything affects it:
- alcohol
- processed food
- lack of sleep
- doom-scrolling
- anxious thinking
- unresolved emotions
- negativity
- environments that drain you
Let me be blunt:
Alcohol absolutely smashed my energy for years.
Temporarily numbs you?
Yes.
Temporarily makes you feel confident?
Yes.
Destroys your long-term energy and clarity?
Absolutely.
And low energy leads to:
- poor decisions
- overspending
- emotional purchases
- self-sabotage
- financial chaos
But when you raise your energy — through breathwork, clean food, stillness, better habits, better emotional processing — money flows easier.
Not magically.
Energetically.
Lesson Five: Give Because It Feels Good — Not Because You Want Something Back
And Value Yourself While You’re Doing It
Most people give to get.
Men especially.
We want recognition, validation, approval, something in return.
But giving without expectation?
That’s powerful.
That’s where abundance actually comes from.
I record podcasts, post content, help people, and give value — not because everyone will buy something. That would be insane.
I give because giving is who I am.
And ironically:
- clients come from unexpected places
- income flows from different directions
- doors open I didn’t even know existed
Because that’s what happens when you give for pleasure, not for permission.
But the second half of this matters too:
If you don’t value yourself, the world won’t either.
So yes, give.
But also charge fairly, know your worth, and stop apologising for wanting to build wealth.
The Five Lessons (In One Quick Snapshot)
1. Your beliefs about money are inherited — replace the ones that hurt you.
2. Your internal money rulebook is running the show — rewrite it consciously.
3. Money is created from the inside out — feel abundant now.
4. Your energy determines your earning capacity — protect it fiercely.
5. Give because it feels good — and value yourself while you do it.
These are the lessons that helped me move from scarcity, debt, fear and shame… into a healthier relationship with money, confidence, and myself as a man.
They’ll do the same for you.
Lead with your heart and not with fear.
You can find the full episode on any of these channels:
Apple / Spotify / YouTube:
The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Podcast
By Jonny Pardoe
©The Self Esteem and Confidence Mindset Ltd 2025
