I’m writing this in sunny Devon as I prepare for both my counselling and coaching sessions coming up this week. As always, I never talk about things that  I don’t do myself and so  the aim of this blog is to provide you with some insight into what both will give you and then to allow you to choose which may be best for you.

First of all… what’s your challenge and what change do you want to see happen? Think about that first of all. It may not be as simple or straightforward as you think and so spend some time thinking about and then writing that one down. Then from that and from my information on counselling and coaching, hopefully you will be clearer on which direction to take.

Counselling 

Both counselling and coaching are about self-awareness. Counselling, however, looks at the reasons why you are feeling like you do, behaving in the way that you do and the actions / habits you take. It will look at your past and see how that has influenced you. The counsellor is not there to tell you what to do, although they may provide advice or unbiased observations from time to time; instead, they are there to help you uncover more about yourself. They are a skilled professional who knows how to steer the conversation to help you uncover more about yourself than you may have realised. As I touched on in my previous blog, once you become more self-aware, you then have a stronger foundation from which to take action.

Coaching

This, on the other hand, helps you to understand what you want and how to get there. Coaching may briefly touch on what has happened to date but is more concerned with focusing on what needs to happen with you from now onwards. The coach will be an unbiased individual who is there to facilitate a conversation or a session, allowing you to uncover the answers for yourself. They are skilled individuals, asking questions and shaping the session to help you; they do not give advice but empower you to reach your goal. This goal is explored, options are generated and then simple action plans are considered before the end of the session.

My experience

Counselling has really helped me to understand my low self-esteem issues, which, I discovered, were caused by experiences in my early life. I felt the need to please people and could never see myself as good enough. I had ups and downs for years but when I often returned to a place of low self-esteem, I never knew why. I then realised it was time to start applying habits that could promote a good self-esteem, such as positive self-talk and looking after myself more.

Coaching helped me to have a proper understanding of what I wanted and why. A couple of years ago, I thought that I wanted to be just an author but now I write, I speak, I coach and much more. I have discovered how much I want to express myself and share with everyone else. My coach asked me questions to help me realise this. In addition, I have simple actions which I look forward to completing consistently on a regular basis.

I use both to compliment each other.

Interested in stepping up and finding the more amazing version of yourself through life coaching?

Sounds like something that would help you to move forward in life? Finding that one magical thing that makes you feel alive? I offer coaching. To find out more about this, have a look at my coaching page

https://http://example.com/conquer-your-life-with-coaching/

Or ping me an e-mail

coaching@http://example.com

Conclusion

Counselling and coaching both provide invaluable self-awareness benefits. It depends on what you are looking for and what you want for your well-being or your personal growth. It may be that both are useful, just as they are for me. Have a think about yourself after and then decide. If you want to discuss either further, you can also drop me a message using the e-mail above.

You can find this YouTube video HERE

You can find this Podcast HERE

Jonny Pardoe © April 2020

http://example.com

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First, to just mention… you’ll notice this blog follows last week’s monthly blog for March. So soon! This is because I’ve now increased my blog posting content. Why… it’s because I realised that it’s something that people value and I enjoy doing it and so therefore it is something worth spending time on. I will now be delivering weekly blogs.

So welcome back to my blog… I’ve been cracking on with so much content recently and have been so absorbed in my own world that at times I’ve forgotten what’s going on around me. A great feeling! Although I still do find it vital to take 10 minutes out for myself to listen to what’s going on in my head: something that I’ll go into shortly.

By the end of the blog today, I want to cover three things…

● Why self-awareness is important
● How it’s helped me
● How to practice self-awareness through meditation

Why is self-awareness important?
When we become self-aware, we realise what is good for us and what is bad for us. It helps us to understand what has held us back and what might have worked. This is why regular self-reflection is so important. Of course, just realising what is good and bad for us alone will only go so far, before we actually have to take action. However, developing the foundation and understanding our feelings, behaviours and habits is going to help us to manage those realisations.
Then to be happy, to grow, to feel good about ourselves, we want to do the things that support us to move forward. These are all different from individual to individual, though and so something that makes me feel good, may not make you feel good.

How self-awareness has helped me
A couple of years ago up until several months ago, I swung between feeling up and down. I’ve mentioned this in previous content, but my point today is that I didn’t understand it and wasn’t aware of what was happening. I didn’t understand why, when I had great friends, a great family, a great job, was fit and healthy, playing for a great football team and experiencing lots of other positives, that I was feeling down. It was really a lack of self-awareness.

Luckily, through the personal growth world, I was constantly picking up and learning new things, one of which was self-awareness. I was able to learn and acquire some new practices. I came to the realisation that living in the future most of the time: the ‘when I’ve made it’ or ‘when I’m good enough’, was where I was living. I was practising habits such as looking at too much social media, having heavy nights out and constantly daydreaming.
When I came to practices such as meditation, improved diet, improved workouts and a focus on what I could do each day, the quality of my well-being and of being present, increased dramatically.
Now… I am still not 100% spot on with all my habits. I still have bad habits such as daydreaming or having the odd crazy night out but now, I can acknowledge when I am in a bad state, what has caused it and what I need to do to improve my state. I don’t beat myself up when I have reverted to a bad habit but instead, I just adjust my habits and actions.

How to practice self-awareness through meditation

This is a key exercise that I was given by my coach and mentor into self-awareness. So, here are the instructions

1. Find a quiet place and sit on the floor or chair upright.
2. Put a timer on for a minimum of 10 minutes and ask
a. What am I feeling and what caused this?
b. How do I want to feel? (The FEELING and not the outcome or result)
c. What does my instinct tell me and what am I in control of?
3. Do NOT be afraid to let you emotions out (this can provide some relief) and write down any findings

Sounds like a lot of work? Well maybe not now but maybe in time, you will find that it is. That’s ok and perfectly normal but when I’ve found myself saying this, then I ask:
“Well this is 10 minutes to make me feel better. Isn’t it worth investing this time to do so, rather than waste it on my phone or social media?”

Conclusion

Self awareness really is a priority in my life and I hope that you find this in yours too. This simple meditation practice can, over time, help you to open up your mind and understand yourself better. Then when you’ve understood what you need to do, make sure you TAKE action.

You can find the latest Podcast of this HERE

You can find the latest YouTube video of this HERE

Jonny Pardoe © March 2020
http://example.com
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Today’s blog is going to focus on being truthful to yourself. When I say this, I mean specifically following what you love and enjoy, not following something that is no use to you any longer, even if it used to be once.

This could take the form of a job or a hobby. For example, you may have once loved swimming, being something that you’ve done for years but actually, it’s not as enjoyable as you now find running. Alternatively, you may have progressed up a career path, and although you may have had promotions and qualifications along the way, you find that you no longer enjoy that path.

In those examples, as well as many others, people will tend to continue to pursue those avenues and try to convince themselves that they should carry on along the same lines. This will not serve any good purpose and ultimately will make you unhappy. My advice on this would be: listen to your heart in regards what you really want, and don’t get confused by your head.   There is also the idea that you should pursue something because you think that is what other people may want. This comes down to pleasing people and a fear of saying ‘no’. This may be because people think you would be good following a certain career path but actually on reflection, this doesn’t appeal to you at all.  So again, trust what you feel, communicate that back to yourself, as well as to others.

Jonny Pardoe

Jonny Pardoe © March 2019

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http://example.com

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Meditation: This is the ability to pause and observe the present moment and what is happening in you. This does not mean fighting off other thoughts but acknowledging them and seeing what is happening with your mind and body at that moment. This could take the form of breathing, scanning your body or simply observing things around you on a walk.

For meditation, this could mean a short practice beginning with a few minutes a day. maybe a couple of times per day. Personally, I find it works best when I do short spells of meditation, two or three times a day. It may seem like a difficult habit to develop at first but once you do regularly you will definitely see psychological and life benefits.

Gratitude: This is appreciating what you have, rather than what you don’t have. It can be really useful in preventing you from falling into the trap of always chasing something you don’t have yet, which inevitably will lead to more unhappiness. There is always something you can be grateful for, whether it’s the ability to walk, the ability to see, your family, your friends or a warm home. When we focus on what we have, rather than what we don’t, it increases positive feelings and therefore a better well-being.

Both of these areas really only take five minutes at a time: a small portion of anyone’s day. However, practising these areas regularly and fitting them into your routine, is vital. There is always time for the most important things and one of the, if not THE most important thing in life is to be happy.

Jonny Pardoe

Jonny Pardoe © January 2019

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http://example.com

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