My Story and Mission

Why aren’t we always happy?

We are ourselves for the rest of our lives. So why would we not do everything to grow and love that person in the mirror?… It’s because life can be hard (situations and people) and the voice in our head can be harsh, for me it was horrific. Part of the brain looks for the negatives or perceived dangers. To make matters worse we have unlimited social media around us, constant text messages and a very competitive world. That can make us compare to others or seek approval from others rather than just liking ourselves for being us. This happens for men just as much as women. Can you relate?

This can lead us to being horrible to ourselves and feeling trapped. The truth is… riddance of all negativity in life will never fully go away for good for anyone (even if it seems like people have it better). I believe we can work on ourselves as much as possible to increase our self esteem in life to face the challenges, so that feeling great about yourself can become your default setting. If we follow the right habits to improve well-being and regular positivity exercises, we can soon experience the benefits of self love. Self esteem is NOT something you are just born with and that’s it. It is a muscle you just have to work on it. Confidence is also a muscle to work for different areas (I explain the difference below).

 

My Mission

I can’t stand to see people with low esteem after setback by external factors, when they have so much greatness about them. I’ve seen it in myself and to people close to me. This can cause mental health struggles such as depression, anxiety and much worse to happen. These can come from when a person really does not like who they are I’ve been there and was not able to focus on anything I loved doing.

I want to help people work that self esteem muscle and self confidence muscles. I want people to have confidence in what they are going after. They are muscles you just have to work on yourself. When someone is on top of life this sets off a positive chain reaction and people doing what they love doing. On the other hand when someone attacks someone else this is because of their own insecurities on themselves.

By helping I aim to help them find the greatness within them and how to grow even more. I want to help people decrease comparing themselves to others and cut down looking for external approval. I also want to help them with the power of personal growth.

 

What is my definition of self esteem and confidence?

If you Google, YouTube, read a book or many means you will find all these terms of self esteem, confidence, self acceptance, self worth, self concept, self image and more. I’ve read and learnt a lot, as well as most importantly connecting to my experiences and speaking to others. I therefore talk about self esteem and confidence in these aspects:

Self Esteem: Made up of your self worth / acceptance (how much you love yourself or not now), as you are for who you are. It is also made up of the concept (the qualities and value you can offer the world). Overall self esteem is how much you love yourself across life and how you like who you are.

Confidence: I don’t regard confidence as something generic across life. If someone says they ‘lack confidence’ I would immediately ask ‘confidence in what?’. Confidence for me refers to a specific skill or area in life. For example I am confident in speaking in front of people at work, producing podcasts or YouTube videos, I am not confident in singing as I don’t practice it and it’s not one of my talents. I can accept that 🙂

 

My story

(Regular moments like this)

(Became more frequent moments like this)

 

 I’ve had various struggles in the past to be happy and like myself, even though I had a pretty decent life on the outside. Sometimes what would appear confident but when I was alone with myself however there would be some horrible arguments in my head and constant criticising of myself. My self esteem would go up and down like a yo yo, when something was going right I would feel great but when it wasn’t I would attack myself mentally. I was very reliant on external factors to be happy, which I was not in control of. My self esteem muscle was very weak. As a result my confidence in certain things would also suffer.

Now self esteem struggles are going to vary from person to person. I’ve always had a pretty good sense of ambition of what I want to do, but often the acceptance or living in the present I was not happy with. It got me so low, I was constantly comparing myself to other people and feeling horrific about myself. I began to study and learn more about self esteem and discovered that it was formed from my early experiences first of all, and then later experiences. I felt the feeling of not being good enough. After exploring it stemmed from the death of my baby brother when I was two, even though I don’t remember it, it played a really strong role in my subconscious. Even though of course it was not my fault, my subconscious felt it was and left a mark on me for my self esteem.

It got to one point one summer where it hit rock bottom after some set backs. I decided I had enough, and I was going to do everything in my power to get my self esteem as best possible as I could. It then occurred to me that self esteem was like any muscle I just had to work it, like I worked on myself in the gym. What I had on my side was my love of personal growth. I got mentors, coaches, joined  groups, read books, listened to  podcasts, watched the right videos and applying action to build up my self esteem and confidence constantly. I will never stop. I now want to share this with other guys and help them.

I started off as an Author a few years ago but in the last couple of years have become attached to expressing myself through videos and podcasts. Something I built up to do and got very confident with it. It took constant practice to develop my speaking skills and I still work on it now and will continue to do so. I absolutely love doing talks now (some may think that’s weird but I love it).

I kept asking myself what could help me excel quickly in my writing and speaking. Then I found a coach and mentor who helped me progress so much. I decided to become a coach from the benefits of life coaching I had experienced. The idea of helping empower someone else to realise what they are capable of in this world and then seeing them taking action to do this for me was so fulfilling. I believe that only the individual themselves can break through their self limiting beliefs or self esteem limits but coaching helps facilitate people to overcome that.

As someone who loves to read, write, speak and coach I like to share with people. I aim to help predominantly men with what I do. Guys like me, can face these struggles but not always be open to admit it or face insecurities. I want to help people find what they really want and enjoy life. I share experience and knowledge as I continue to grow myself too

 

What can I do for you?

 

Author

Books:

I’ve written several books which are on Amazon and continue to write. I actually started off as a Children’s Fiction as I always loved those kinds of creative, imaginary and adventurous stories growing up. Then through my time I moved to Mental Health Fiction following a request from a friend before writing my most recent book ‘You Are More Than That’ a Personal Growth book in following your goals whilst facing obstacles.

Blogs / Short Stories:

I produce regular blogs sharing what I’ve learnt, my own experiences and tips in self esteem, confidence and personal growth. I have also written stories built on own experiences and experiences of those I’ve known to demonstrate struggles in well-being / mental health and how challenges may have been overcome.

 

YouTube / Podcast speaker

I record weekly videos and audios on YouTube, Apple, Spotify and Anchor to articulate messages rather than just text. These are all on the self esteem, confidence and personal growth areas. You can find a link to my videos and podcasts on my homepage.

If you are interested in adding a talk to boost self esteem, power up confidence and liven things up with personal growth, then I can also provide talks for you, check it out here: Speaking

 

More about me

I’m quite random, sociable, adventurous as well as being hooked personal development which I’ve invested loads on.  I work in project and change management in a digital analytical business which is awesome too.

I have many different interests and hobbies which include: traveling / exploring, playing football, general exercising, social events with friends and family, personal growth work, watching Netflix when I have time, playing my PS4 . One thing I absolutely love to do is read or listen to audio books and podcasts.

In terms of qualifications and continuous personal development I believe life experiences and actions help us to learn the most. After achieving a degree in Psychology I’ve undertaken numerous qualifications and courses including coaching, communication, self esteem / confidence, leadership and much more.

You can never stop learning.